AFTERWORD

IT IS MY hope, as I approach the twilight of my years, or at least the afternoon tea, that some of this information will be of use to those people who look on me as a beacon of rectitude an' knowledge.

I have tested the recipes and hardly any of them make you throw up. As for the etiquette, well, I have done my best. Life is full of little tricks and if you're allowed to go around again, well, they don't let you take the notes you made the first time. I hope my efforts will provide you with a sketch map.

But really, etiquette is a state of mind. You never know what tomorrow will bring. It might hold a problem no one has yet had to face. So therefore you need to get your mind right for when you venture into areas where no book is going to help you. Remember: someone had to be the first person in the world to eat an oyster.

In that case, my advice is to try a nice open smile, although this admittedly won't get you far with shellfish. I do find it gets me out of trouble with people nine times out of ten, and even if it does get me into trouble it's generally int'resting trouble and leads to warm memories. You couldn't buy them for money.

Gytba Ogg "fir Nam Ogg\ The Square, Lancre